Where do we begin, to get clean again

I don't like it when others tell me "you are better than that/this/him".
I know it meant to be a compliment or to make me feel better.
But how do you know that I am better?

I was never good in school.
I cheated in a test.
I copy homework from Andrew and Shanas all the time.
I asked friends to do my projects.
I have zero talent.
I'm not athletic.
I hid under a desk to avoid marching for sport day, subsequently ask papa to write to my principle about how I am hypoglycemic and would not participate in the march pass.
I am not artistic abide being a Pisces.
I selfishly moved away from family and friends to live up to my dream, see the world.
I'm insensitive.
I once said to a friend who just lost her Grandpa, "Old people die all the time".
I don't like kids or crying babies.
I imagine pouring coffee over my passenger's head while I smile and tell him to wait for his turn.
I hold my breath when someone next to me smell really bad on the bus.
I giggle when someone accidentally trip and fall in front of me.

I have always been, Mediocre.
I have yet to do anything extraordinary.

So why am I better?

What am I better at?


God of Wine - Third Eye Blind

Every thought that I repent
Theres another chip you haven't spent
And you're cashing them all in
Where do we begin to get clean again
Can we get clean again
I walk home alone with you
And the mood you're born into
Sometimes you let me in
And I take it on the chin
I cant get clean again
I want to know can we get clean again
The God of wine comes crashing through
The head lights of a car that took you farther
Than you thought youd ever want to go
We cant get back again
We cant get back again
She takes a drink and then she waits
The alcohol it permeates
And soon the cells give way, and cancels out the day
I cant keep it all together
I know I know I know... I cant keep it all together
And the sirens song that is your madness
Holds a truth I cant erase
All alone on your face
Every glamorous sunrise
Throws the planets out of line
A star sign out of whack, a fraudulent zodiac
And the God of wine is crouched down in my room
You let me down, I said it, now Im going down
And youre not even around
And I said no no no...
I cant keep it all together
I know I know I know...
I cant keep it all together
And theres a memory of a window
Looking through I see you
Searching for something I could never give you
And theres someone who understands
You more than I do
A sadness I cant erase
All alone on your face