Is it you or me?

uh.. yea.. I am wide awake at this ungodly hour. Actually its quite holy for some religion. But anyways, I woke up cuz I had difficulty breathing. I don't really know why so can I blame the haze?

A week or 2 ago, I went back to school to meet one of my favourite lecturers, Sharon. I emailed her to ask if the offer still stands to help me write up a resume that could clinch my dream job. She was ever so welcoming and we chat for like 3 hours about tons of stuffs. Poor Boon was standing n waiting outside all alone. Then we emailed each other a few times and she never fail to make me feel better about myself (when some people are making me feel invisible, dumb and unworthy of their time or simply shitty) by saying lines such "I like your work attitude and personality - keep up the good work!"...

She worries that I will turn out like them and lose my identity. But she also said that because I am rather confident about my believes it is easier for me to stay true to myself which is good to know I guess. She gave me some articles about Work Ethics and Etiquettes to read up. But seriously, it doesn't help to know that I am working with people who does the exact opposite. Even a mere sales-coordinator is emailing in CAPS. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Seriously!!!

When it comes to a point where waking up in the morning to know that I gotta be at work in 2 hours time and I will be stuck there for atleast 9 hours, becomes simply upsetting, I can't help but question, "is it worth it?"

I did wonder if I am this unhappy becuz I am a spoilt child. But 3 months ago, I was really happy and motivated. Up for all the challenges and eager to learn. I wanted a job and a carrer. and what did I get? A power tripped person who is too busy to teach me and another telling me that checkin others emails is a "common sense" thing to do. Again. What the fuck is wrong with these people?!

I'm tired and its only tuesday...