I'm an emo kid, nonconforming as can be

Can I go to bed and wallow myself in self pity?

I can't take it anymore.

I sulk all through my walk to the bus stop and I was sobbing all alone on the bus. Thats the pathetic state I am in. I can't remember when was the last time I was this unhappy. Seriously I can't.

I wasn't happy during IAP but I didn't cry like this and I can still crack jokes and be lame with hannah and zul.

You know how ppl say "maybe god has some other plans for you" and thats why, what you want or do is not working out yet. And how we should let go sometimes and let him take charge. Sometimes i feel like giving into that thot. But then again, no possible way! I cannot let someone else control my life. No matter who he is. He can be Lord O Mighty or my creator for all I care, but this is still MY LIFE and I should live the way I want it.

Rite?

Please say I am right...